#006 The Utterly Unpleasant Urination

This Week on Another Brother:

In episode #006, The Utterly Unpleasant Urination, the brothers introduce their first GHOST (that's Guest Host!), Jared! Josh isn't entirely certain if he watched the final trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (we know, we know, the game is out). Alex gives Nintendo a warning about PETA... they're not happy with Pokémon, but Alex is fine with that, he doesn't care for Pokémon either! Did Jacob, an Oregonian, really just defend California?! And find out whether or not Jared was able to hold it!

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And don't miss this episode's Alternate Reality...

 

Episode Links (***Spoiler Alert***):

• The final trailer of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, see for yourself if Ganondorf gives a "guttural scream" or a "jovial laugh".
• How Pokémon was made! It's an interesting history!
• Utah ski resort accumulates 900 inches of snow. That's 75 feet!
• A brand new Utah neighborhood's road is washed out by flooding.
• The very place where Jared found sweet, sweet relief.

 

Transcript:

The following transcript was in part created using the Deepgram API:

[00:00:00] This Week on Another Brother

[00:00:32] Another Brother Theme Song

[00:00:52] Stewnerds Segment

Alex: I really wanna talk Tears Of The Kingdom, but I don't know if Josh has seen the trailer yet.

Josh: I have. So, okay, to date this episode, the last official Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom trailer dropped today. Number 3. So, yes, I did see it. I did not understand any of what I saw. I'm not really tracking the storyline very well, and it was highly stylized. I thought.

Alex: What was highly stylized exactly?

Josh: Just, it was very japanese-y, I think.

Jared: Yeah. That's fair.

Josh: Just the music and the cut scenes and, like, it was very slow- slow moving, just very cinematic.

Alex: You thought that was a slow moving trailer? Did you watch the same trailer I did?

Josh: The 3 minute trailer?

Jacob: Yeah. It was slow.

Alex: I thought it was like a super fast cut. Like, in the beginning, it was pretty slow.

Josh: Yeah.

Jacob: It builds up.

Alex: Up in the sky.

Jacob: Yeah.

Josh: But it it kinda keeps that tone for a while into it.

Alex: I suppose.

Josh: Because it's like showing off, like, the different areas. I don't know. I loved the first I loved Breath of the Wild, so I have full expectations that this game will be awesome. Just the trailer, I was like, merrr.

Alex: What??!

Josh: Yeah.

Jacob: Oh, really?

Alex: Oh, man. It blew my freaking mind.

Jared: Starting with the hot takes.

Alex: Yeah. No kidding.

Jared: Do you like the Ganondorf design?

Jacob: That long flowing hair.

Alex: I think it's alright. I think I think it's fine. The voice acting, I was more on the- I was more on the fence with the voice acting when they first revealed it in the previous trailer. But I'm liking it a lot more now. Like, there's a point in the trailer where he just kinda gives a guttural scream. And it it sounds like Ganondorf in any Smash Bros.

Jared: Yeah.

Jacob: In this third trailer?

Alex: This is the third trailer.

Jacob: Yeah. In this 1, there was a-

Alex: Yeah.

Jacob: Yeah. Alright. Okay. Alright. I gotta watch it again. I watched it once. I remember him laughing.

Josh: It was a very jovial laugh.

Jacob: Oh, I don't remember.

Josh: It wasn't very intimidating.

Alex: I don't remember any laughing. Are we sure we're watching the same trailer??

Jacob: Yeah.

Josh: I think so. So it dropped today. Right?

Alex: Mhmm.

Josh: Yeah.

Jared: Did you see all the, like, there were a bunch of memes and social media stuff about a super hot rehydrated Ganondorf. We were like-

Jacob: Ewwww.

Jared: -everyone that was imagining that, like, the zombie corpse and then they, like, get him back up to snuff, and he's suddenly, like, super attractive.

Josh: Nice.

Jared: So I was, like, I think I'd subconsciously had, like, pretty Ganondorf in my mind. So during the trailer, I was like, oh. And I was like, wait. Was I expecting, like, male model, Ganondorf, like kinda glad they didn't go that route.

Josh: Yeah. They they didn't go Derek Zoolander. Magnum. I was more I'll say, I was more excited about the game from Lizzie's description that I got a couple days ago than from that trailer.

Alex: I mean, you can build a freaking tank.

Josh: That's yeah. That's awesome.

Alex: And I don't know if you guys noticed, but that arm had some kind of like a spear or blade at the tip of it. But it also had the dragon head flamethrower. That's what was really attached to the end and the blade was attached on top of that sticking out past it. Yeah.

Josh: I although I saw I think Liz turned me onto it as well, that or maybe it was Alex. Maybe I'm sure it was in 1 of our group chats. That Zelda, like, these last 2 games are like really pulling from really popular Japanese anime.

Alex: Mhmm. Yeah.

Josh: So like that arm thing-

Alex: Studio Ghibli specifically.

Josh: Studio Ghibli, that's what it was. Yeah.

Jacob: Okay, one of the most exciting things that I thought- fighting alongside all the other heroes.

Alex: Oh, yeah.

Jacob: That was dope.

Alex: That was surprising.

Jacob: That was so cool. Have you watched this, Josh?!

Josh: I don't recall anything like that.

Alex: You really didn't follow it at all. Did you?

Josh: Okay. Well, so in this 1 that I saw, you've got, like, the- You got the horse drawn buggy thing that you make.

Jacob: Yep. That was in there.

Josh: You have, like, another, like, a tractor thing with the big tall block on it and then you're rolling towards these other platforms. Right?

Jared: Yep.

Alex: That sounds like the robot or tank thing.

Jacob: There was a rocket even. He's just strapped- Holding on to rocket.

Alex: That was on his shield. He had rocket shield.

Jacob: Oh, cool.

Alex: Yeah.

Jacob: Oh, yeah. The combining of weapons to make new weapons, that's pretty crazy.

Josh: Can you still make food?

Jacob: probably?

Alex: Yeah. I mean, I have to assume so since you can still- we know that he had raw meat in his inventory in the gameplay demonstration. He talked about putting that onto an arrow for, like, different hunting reasons. So, like, maybe, like, bait for hunting. So

Jacob: Yeah.

Alex: It'd be pretty weird of Nintendo to include the slaying of animals without you getting to cook and, eat that stuff, you know, just for the heck just for the fun of hunting. Nintendo already has enough trouble with PETA and Pokemon. So.

Josh: Are you serious?

Alex: Yeah. PETA- PETA hates Pokemon.

Jacob: They hate everything.

Josh: They're not even real!

Alex: Well, they're also alien invaders, but they don't seem to mind or care about that either.

Jacob: But and not just invaders, but apparently they wiped out all other living animals.

Alex: Right. Yeah.

Josh: The Pokemon did?

Jacob: Well, you see no normal animals in Pokemon, they're all Pokemon.

Alex: There's no cow. There's just whatever that cow like pokemon is.

Jacob: No birds just Pidgey.

Alex: So people do eat Pokemon.

Jacob: And Pokemon eat Pokemon.

Josh: That's pretty messed up because those are definitely, like, some intelligent creatures.

Jacob: Super intelligent.

Alex: I mean, I don't know that they eat psyduck, but-

Josh: Beijing psy-鸭. Psyduck-鸭.(This is a play on Beijing Roast Duck, which is Beijing 烤鸭)

Jacob: Sichuan Mister Mime.

Alex: Oh, gosh.

Josh: Sichuan Spicy Mime.

Alex: Oh no!

Jacob: Speaking of, I haven't played Pokemon Stadium yet on Switch.

Jared: Oh, yeah.

Josh: Isn't that the old school- wasn't there Pokemon Stadium on-

Jacob: 64.

Alex: Oh, yeah. So this is the Virtual Console.

Jacob: It only came out yesterday, so I don't know why I'm acting like I'm behind.

Alex: For gamer cred. That's why you're acting like that.

Jared: That's probably the most- that's the game I've put the most time in Pokemon-wise because my family and I, we would just play the mini games, like over and over and over and over and over again. We wouldn't even like battle. We- it's like the the point of Pokemon is to battle Pokemon. We would just play those weird little Mario party mini games.

Jacob: Yeah. I genuinely didn't even remember that you could battle. In in my mind, it is the the mini games.

Jared: Yeah.

Alex: The most time I've put into any Pokemon game was for Pokemon Snap. On the N64. I would take that over to Russell's house for sleepovers, and we would just stay up all night. Finding-

Jacob: It's so good.

Alex: All 4 of us.

Jared: It's so hard. I tried to revisit it recently, and it was just kicking my butt. It's like, Stop the stupid cart while I throw an apple at this Psyduck!

Josh: I have not played many Pokemon games, but-

Alex: You know what? We haven't done yet. We haven't explained why there's a fourth voice on the podcast this week. We're joined-

Jacob: Right-O!

Alex: -by our brother-in-law. Jared Poff.

All: Yay. Whoohoo!

Josh: "Another Brother", you might say.

Alex: Another brother.

Josh: Another brother, Jared Poff. And we might redact last names. I don't know.

Alex: Oh, yeah. Crap. So if you hear a- if you hear a beep-

Jared: Your intonation will be weird. Jared-!

Josh: Beep! Yay! Yeah, so what we wanted to do was to extend our- the brothers on the podcast to our Other Brothers, and they would be our guest hosts on certain podcast episodes, and they will be familiarly known as our Ghosts. So Jared, the inaugural and hopefully, multi-time, Another Brother podcast Ghost.

Alex: So back to Pokemon. Nah. I I I don't even like Pokemon. Obviously, since Pokemon Snap is the game I put the most time into.

Jacob: You had one on 3DS didn't you?

Alex: I did and I hated it.

Jacob: Oh, okay. Well there ya go.

Alex: I I got Pokemon X.

Jared: That's fair.

Alex: I mean, I've tried Pokemon Red before on your guys' old-school Game Boys. I just Pokemon does not do it for me.

Jacob: It's just magical though. That was my first owned game. I had my own Gameboy, Pokemon Blue. It was my 8th Christmas or something like that.

Alex: Well, I'm sorry for insulting such a special game.

Jacob: You should be.

Jared: Did you know it's the highest grossing IP of all time.

Jacob: Yes.

Josh: Wow.

Jared: Blows my mind.

Alex: IP. We're not talking about video games.

Jared: Yeah. IP.

Josh: Really.

Jared: Yeah.

Josh: So we're talking about Microsoft Windows.

Jacob: Beats out Marvel. Beats out Harry Potter.

Jared: Media IP. Yeah. Sorry. Not-

Jacob: Hello, Kitty's up there too, actually. It cracks, like, top 10 or something.

Josh: That's insane. Who who makes Pokemon? Is it Bandai?

Alex: No. It's Game Freak.

Jacob: Which is still has always been and is still confusing to me. The Nintendo -- Game Freak relationship.

Alex: Yeah I don't get it either.

Jared: It's a weird-

Alex: Because they're not first party. Nintendo does not own Game Freak. I guess you'd call them second party because they're not exactly third party.

Jacob: Yeah. It's weird.

Josh: Highest grossing party.

Alex: Apparently. That's why they can sit on their laurels and make lazy games. Ohhhhh!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Alex: I'm sure all you Pokemon fans get it. Wait. No. You're gonna come after me. Pokemon fans are gonna come after me for that.

Jacob: Yeah they are.

Alex: Well, it's just No. No. I'm not gonna get into that. I don't need anybody to go after me.

Jacob: My oldest son will stop listening to this podcast if you start ragging on Pokemon. He's obsessed.

Josh: I've I've successfully converted my oldest. I think we discussed it last episode. Successfully convert my oldest from Pokemon to Magic The Gathering. I feel pretty good about that.

Jacob: Oh, I don't think you mentioned that last time.

Jared: Are the cards cheaper?

Josh: I bet they are.

Jared: Then it's a win-win.

Alex: It depends on the card because there are some magic cards that are worth a lot of money.

Josh: True. Well, he bought a Commander starter deck for 30 bucks. Just under 30 dollars.

Jacob: Oh, man. You can't get a Pokemon deck for 15!

Josh: But it included a booster pack, a mythic rare foiled card. And this card is, like, twice as thick as most magic cards.

Alex: It's twice as thick?!

Josh: It gives you- yeah. So it gives you, like, a collector's card. And then a copy of it.

Alex: Oh. So you shouldn't play with it. No. I was gonna say, like, you can know where that is in your deck. That's not fair.

Josh: Yeah.

Alex: That can't be legal.

Josh: You can kinda figure out where the foil ones are anyway because it kinda bends slightly differently, but I'm not hating on Pokemon either. I just prefer Magic, and so it feels like a victory to bring him over.

Alex: I mean I think Magic: The Gathering is the original trading card game. I think.

Josh: Pre-dating Pokemon?

Alex: I think it pre-dates Pokemon. I don't know, though, because Nintendo was originally a playing card company. That was their thing until the 80's and they started with video games.

Josh: Okay. So my so Okay. Back to Game Freak. They own the Pokemon IP. So they originated the trading card game. Do we know?

Alex: No. That's probably where the tie with that company and Nintendo comes from. Mhmm. It's that Nintendo produced the trading cards.

Jacob: I think the Game Boy game was the first that they came out with. And Pokemon is not their first video game. They had other games too.

Alex: Oh, snap. No way.

Jacob: Yeah. I watched a video about it 1 time, but I don't remember any pacifics (sic.). So.

Josh: Speaking of "Pacifics"-

Jacob: That was a very intentional segue.

Jared: Smooth.

Josh: JK. JK. Alex is kind of our our

Jacob: Our what?

Jared: Maestro?

Josh: Maestro.

Jared: Yeah.

Alex: I am?

Josh: Kind of.

Alex: What's that mean?

Josh: I think more often than not you segue us.

Alex: Oh, okay. Got it. Got it. Like the the master of ceremonies-

Josh: Yes.

Alex: The MC.

Josh: MC. That's what I was looking for. So Alright. So we're in Utah. We're all in Northern Utah. We had a crazy winter, like the most snowfall on record since we started measuring snowfall in the state of Utah in the 1930's.

Alex: Yeah. If you're if you're in the United States, you've maybe heard, probably, some, about the crazy snow that California got this winter. But doesn't hold a candle to Utah.

Josh: We're talking 800 inches of snowfall in certain-

Alex: certain mountainous areas, Yeah.

Jacob: So just before the Californians get angry, I do believe, like, the Mount Shasta area does have more.

Alex: No way. Oh, well.

Jacob: Yeah. So, I mean, it it was historic pretty historic for California as well.

Josh: You heard it here first, folks, a Utahn defending a Californian.

Jacob: Ah! Even worse. An Oregonian defending a Californian.

Josh: An Oregonian living in Utah defending a Californian.

Jacob: Sad day...

Alex: We can get into why that's a thing another time. Yes.

Josh: So yeah. So now the weather's heating up, we had a day earlier this week that reached into the eighties.

Jacob: Almost.

Josh: Almost eighties, like, high seventies. So it was really heating up-

Jacob: It snow some today. Go on.

Josh: It did snow. It slushed really good. But we're kinda moving from, like like, avalanche alerts and avalanche warnings. Where, in fact, our some of our ski lodges went into Interlodge and Max interlodge just like 2 weekends ago.

Jacob: For like a an entire week.

Alex: What does that even mean?

Josh: So interlodge is a state of- so there's security measures. So basically, like, the possibility of avalanches, uncontrolled avalanches, are so high that you're forced to stay in the resort. So you-

Jacob: So you're literally interlodged.

Alex: I got it. Okay.

Josh: Typically, you can normally, like, backcountry ski between buildings in the resort area, but most of the time you're, like, stuck inside the lodge. And then Max Interlodge is you're down in the basement. Everyone is brought down into the basement. And 1 of these key resorts actually max interlodged 2 weekends ago. Or last weekend.

Jacob: It's been crazy.

Josh: So we go from that-

Alex: So we don't we don't construct these lodges to a standard where they're, like, avalanche proof?

Jacob: Not 800 inches, avalanche proof.

Alex: Hmph.

Josh: That's a lot of inches.

Jared: Yeah.

Jacob: And So much snow out there.

Josh: So now, anyway, Utah's transitioning from, like, all this avalanche warning and crazy snow. Too, flood warning. And pretty close to us, 1 of the towns out in the foothills, brand new development, neighborhood-

Jacob: Like, not even finished yet.

Josh: Yeah. The entire this entire roadway was just like undercut by the by the water coming down out of the mountain and just collapsed half the half the road.

Jacob: 15 foot deep sinkhole.

Josh: Yeah.

Jacob: Crazy.

Alex: They're already evacuating people in Salt Lake, in a neighborhood in Salt Lake near I can't remember the name of creek.

Josh: Immigration Creek?

Alex: Yeah. Immigration Creek. They've already had to yeah. Get those people out because they're experiencing flooding. Not because they're worried about it, but they are actively flooded.

Jacob: Ogden's gonna get it bad too, just from what I've already seen.

Josh: Yeah. And they're they're- Ogden- most of Ogden is pretty close to the mountain too. So I think, you know, I can rest easy knowing that the wealthy among us that can afford to live in the foothills are the ones getting hammered by the flood. Most of us cheapos down in the valley next to the salty briny lake. We'll probably be okay. Hopefully. Unless Utah created these water diversion things to benefit the wealthy.

Jacob: Now, Josh's house does back up right to a creek. So...

Josh: This is true.

Alex: It's already looking kinda high.

Josh: It's pretty I we opened the windows to cool off the house. And, like, I can't hear because it's so loud. And, you know, my wife likes to whisper when she talks to me. I have really bad hearing from a lot of, like, percussive noises over the years. And so when there's any sort of like background noise, like any sort of background frequency, it just really washes out my ability to hear anything. So with the windows open and that creek flowing, It's like I can see this. I feel like Charlie Brown, it's like, "mrm mrmmr mrmrmr." I'm just like "whatever". Just smiling and nodding my head.

Jacob: Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Josh: Which okay. Going back to the Zelda trailer-

Alex: Nice.

Josh: The very last line of the trailer, Zelda says, "you're our last hope."

Jacob: Almost.

Josh: "Link, You're our last hope."

Jacob: Keep going.

Josh: "You're our final hope."

Jacob: Keep going.

Alex: No hope.

Jacob: There's a line after that.

Josh: What?

Alex: "Link, you must find me."

Jared: She says standing out in the wide open expanse of Hyrule.

Josh: So she says, "Link, you are our final hope, you must find me"?

Alex: I don't I don't remember that final hope as being part of the last line at all. It might be-

Jacob: I think it was in the trailer though.

Alex: But it is in the trailer for sure.

Josh: Okay. Well, I'm getting, like, major Princess Leia vibes. From both of the lines. Because doesn't she say, "Luke, you're my only hope"?

Jacob: Wait.

Jared: "Help me, Obiwan Kenobi. You are my only hope."

Alex: You don't- do you just not follow stories of any kind? Anywhere?

Josh: I...

Jared: It's like a chat GPT summary of like a story that you put into Google Translate, and then back into chat GPT.

Jacob: I I also wanna know how Shana whispering brought you back to that.

Josh: Um...

Alex: You don't even follow your own stories!

Josh: Alright. Caveat. If this makes it into the final cut, I am exhausted. I'm very tired. I prefaced this entire meeting tonight with "I need lots of caffeine."

Alex: Oh, yeah. You need another can of doctor pepper?

Josh: I'm not through-

Jacob: Okay. I still wanna know what happened and how and when and where so that we have all these floating rock city ruins places.

Alex: Well, I mean, I can I've got theories, and lots of people, you know, have plenty of theories. But-

Jacob: But we don't know-know.

Alex: No.

Jacob: Yeah.

Josh: But I thought it happened after the events of the first- the Breath of the Wild. Right?

Alex: What? This game? Yeah. This is a direct sequel to Breath of the Wild. So that's the exact same Link and Zelda as breath of the wild.

Josh: But we don't know where the floating islands are from? Isn't it from the previous game?

Alex: Skyward sword?

Josh: Skyward sword?

Jared: Did you notice the shot where Zelda's become a Zonai?

Alex: In- yeah.

Jared: It's totally her. That's those are her eyes. That's her necklace, that's her earrings.

Josh: Who's Zonai?

Jared: It's we think it's gonna be, like-

Alex: You don't know who the Zonai are?

Jared: -A new race, that's important to the story line. They were hinted in the last game with, like, ruins and stuff.

Alex: Yeah. Do you remember the barbarian set of armor where you're, like, wearing tattered skins and, like, a skull helmet that gives you what looks like Ganondorf hair.

Josh: Yeah. That was Zonai?

Alex: That that was Zonai.

Jacob: Okay. Was this the the like, the the lady with the gray face and she had, like horn ear things. Is that what-

Jared: That's what some people might think. Yeah. But-

Alex: Yeah. A lot of people think that is a Zonai. And later the -- Okay. -- not actually the woman, but that man that was talking to Zelda, they think it was him.

Josh: Oh, I thought it was the king of Hyrule.

Alex: No. But I think it might be the same voice actor. I heard a similarity in the voice. Mhmm. So okay. So in Skyward Sword, we hear this story about how down on the surface of the planet, the earth cracks open and demons come flooding out Among them, this demon lord named demise, and he's wreaking havoc on everything. So the goddess with a small g Hylia takes her people the most human like, I guess, of all the peoples of the planet into the sky on these floating islands. And creates a barrier between the ground and the sky realm. The people up in the sky When they look down, all they see is cloud. They can't see the surface of the planet. They don't know they don't even know what's on the other side of those clouds. But when you're down on the planet, you look up, you just see sky and you don't see those islands.

Jacob: Sky, not clouds.

Alex: Correct. I think it's I think it's called the cloud barrier.

Josh: "Sky Not Clouds". Ha! T-shirt! Another Brother podcast T-Shirt, "sky not clouds"....

Alex: Cool. We'll talk about that later...

Jared: It sounds like some, like, deep political statement. Like, if I saw that shirt, it'd be like, "Yeah. I I totally get that."

Josh: I support this...?

Alex: Wolves not sheep.

Jacob: Sky not clouds.

Alex: So this magical barrier that hides this sky kingdom up in the up in the air from the ground and vice versa people have been speculating since Breath of the Wild that it's always been there throughout the entire series. And that some people at the end of Skyward Sword stayed up there. Like not all of those sky islands come down. Oops spoiler alert for people that haven't played the game yet. Eventually, some of those islands come back down to the ground after you defeat this demon lord demise.

Josh: I have not finished the first game.

Alex: Oh, boy. Well no wonder you're not following anything!

Jacob: Which game?

Josh: Breath of the wild.

Jacob: No. No. This is No.

Alex: This is No. This is No. This is not breath of the wild. This is Skyward Sword.

Josh: Yeah. I've never even played Skyward Sword.

Jacob: I know who demise is. He's this big thing with teeth and, like, scale, type of-

Alex: That's not his true form. His true form looks like an outrageously buff Ganondorf. Like, if you think Ganondorf looks buff, demise is like 10 times buffer.

Jared: Do I get the photo?

Jacob: Please do.

Alex: But he's got, like, a mane of fire instead of red hair. It's just like this fiery craziness.

Josh: Does he fuel Ganondorf? I know I'm taking you way off track, but-

Alex: As you defeat him at the end of Skyward Sword, right before the master sword sucks him up inside of the sword, he lays out a curse.

Josh: You suck him up in the Master Sword...

Alex: Yeah. The Master Sword supposedly still contains demise. He lays out this curse that says, the the 1 who possesses the blood of the goddess, because we find out that Zelda is Hylia herself reincarnated. She gives up her-

Jacob: Of course.

Alex: immortality and becomes mortal.

Josh: Okay, hold on, when do you find that out?

Jacob: Skyward Sword.

Alex: You find that out during the game in Skyward sword.

Josh: Oh my goodness.

Alex: Maybe halfway through the game, you find that out. Skyward Sword is immensely important for the lore of the series. And there's all kinds of meta stuff outside of it. Like, people at the company that are making the game and why that game is so story driven compared to previous games. But the same guy that wrote that game wrote a game before that that was also really cool story wise that people loved.

Josh: Minish Cap?

Alex: Minish Cap. He also wrote Breath of the Wild and he also wrote tears of the kingdom. Dang. Which is why the stories are a lot stronger, though some people say Breath of the Wild had no story. I think those people are lame. But okay. So he lays out this curse. Whoever has the spirit of the goddess. No. Sorry. The blood of the goddess, and the spirit of the hero, How did they word that exactly?

Josh: One person?

Alex: Basically, the the princess slash goddess and the hero will be constantly reborn, reincarnated, and have to put up with My malice forever. My malice will continue, to wreak havoc on this world and your predecessor not predecessors, successors, reincarnated versions of yourselves are gonna have to fight me for eternity. Ganondorf becomes an embodiment of the malice of demise.

Josh: So Ganandorff becomes demise's reincarnation, basically.

Alex: Yes.

Josh: So just trapped forever.

Alex: The the the lore of each game is that the big bad in pretty much every Zelda game, is some kind of incarnation of his malice. Because every demon-

Jacob: Hold on.

Alex: - every monster, when you kill it in Zelda, it poofs into purple. That's the malice being released as it dies.

Jacob: Demise is the villain of Zelda.

Alex: Demise is THE villain. He cracks open the planet.

Jacob: How can that be?

Alex: He comes out and leads all the minions to destroy everything.

Jacob: I don't like this.

Jared: He's also-

Jacob: Ganandorf is. He always has been.

Josh: Right?

Jared: He's also in the trailer.

Alex: Demise?

Jared: Yeah. Well, because I-

Alex: That could that could be demise, and not Ganondorf with hair and everything in front of the blood moon.

Jared: Yeah. I think-

Josh: The one where you don't see his face? Sorry Jared.

Alex: Yeah.

Jared: Have you seen the, like, cyclical theory?

Alex: With the ouroboros?

Jared: Like the time loop?

Alex: Uh-huh.

Jared: That's what I think is going down because, I think-

Alex: You could say that the earth has cracked open with all these malice it's opening up everywhere.

Jared: I think I think this game is gonna be a time loop that starts again with Skyward Sword. And it's like-

Alex: So you could say this is the last game in the series, but you could also say it's the first game in series. But you could say that of any game in the series.

Jared: Because I think Zelda's gonna turn into Hylia. And Ganandorf's gonna turn into demise. And then- Nintendo secretly hates the timeline because they they kinda got pressured into it by fans. And there's some people at Nintendo who really like it, but there's a lot who don't And so I think there's a pretty good chance this will be, like, the end of the timeline just so they can say, like, Okay. We're done addressing the timeline. Every other game is gonna be somewhere in the middle of this. That doesn't because, like, they're not gonna stop making zelda games. They make way too much money. But I think they're gonna, like, put an end to the timeline stuff with this game so that then they can just, like, okay, there you go. It's got a beginning. It's got an end. We're just gonna churn out games now because we're Nintendo and we hate stories secretly. At least Miyamoto.

Alex: Specifically Myamoto, yeah.

[00:27:49] Storytime Segment

Soundbite: Hey, kids. Do you know what time it is? Storytime!

Jared: Okay. This is a date story. So this is high school. I'm on a double date. So the reason I'm on this double date is because my friend is really into this girl. But he's too scared to just ask her out by himself. He has to have backup there, I guess.

Jacob: So did he at least asked her out on the double date? He didn't make you-

Jared: No. Yeah. Yeah. He at least could do that. But he was like, "Man, I wanna ask her out. Like, I can't do it. I can't do it if I'm by myself. Like, can you ask her friend, and then we can, like, go together?" I was like, "fine". So we go out and we first go to this like Italian place and we're eating. It's going good. I don't know, like, why he was so worried. I think he he was an only child. And so I feel like he thought I think he thought he was, like, terrible at holding the conversation, but he was fine. But what did he know? Like-

Alex: He talked to himself all the time.

Jared: And so he is doing fine and we're getting close to the end of dinner. It's probably, like, 7:00, 7:30. And I, like, I have to go to the bathroom pretty bad. Like, I drank quite a bit of water. And I kind of, like, lean over to him while the girls are talking. I'm like, "hey, man. Like, I'll I'll be back. But, like, gonna go run to the bathroom." He's like, "no. No. No. You you can't." Like, i was like, "what are you talking about?" He was like, "dude, if you leave and I say something what if it, like, completely derails." I'm, like, real like, I have to babysit you this entire time just like, "please, man."

Josh: Just- wait- Is he, like, whispering this over the table-

Jacob: Yeah that's what I just wanted to ask.

Jared: This is a I don't know. Like-

Josh: It's all eye contact.

Alex: It's one of those How I Met Your Mother mental conversations.

Jared: It somehow got I don't remember. It somehow got communicated that he was like, no, man stay. So I was like, fine. And so we we end the dinner, and it's, like, kinda close to a mall, so we start walking around. And, like, while we're walking around the mall, I'm, like, keeping my eyes out for a bathroom. Because it's been, like, half an hour. Suddenly, it's been 45. Suddenly, it's been an hour.

Josh: This story is not gonna end well.

Jared: And I'm like, oh, gosh. Like, this is getting bad. Like, this this is bad. Like, we're an hour past where I should've found something. But I can't find anything. And so I'm like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this until the end of the date, but I'm like, it's gonna be 9 o'clock soon. We can just peace out. So-

Jacob: Peace-

Jared: That was even unintentional. And so we finally, like, get in the car, and I'm thinking, cool. We're gonna drop him off and I can just go find a bathroom. But then he's like, "hey, it's still early. Like, why don't we go hang out somewhere?" I'm kinda, like, giving him looks like, "dude". And everyone else is like, "yeah, let's go". And so we end up going to this park. And he's, like, clearly feeling more confident now, I guess, because he, like, goes off with her and they're walking and talking and stuff. And I'm sitting and talking to my date. Who's was great, but, like, I'm not interested in her romantic- Like, well, I'm just there to, like, support him. Right? And we have to sit next to this stupid trickling fountain. And I kid you not, we're there for an additional 2 hours.

Alex: Holy crap.

Jacob: And he's just walking around that whole time-

Jared: They're just they're just off in their own la la land, and I am, like, dying.

Jacob: He couldn't have even picked a park with a-

Jared: There is no bathroom in this park. It is now, like, 9:30. I am livid. I am dying. I'm trying not to like do the pee pee dance like, but like we're sitting down next to a bunch of trickling water. This is like killing me. And so finally, they come back. And they're like, oh, yeah. We should go home now. And I'm like, yeah. You think? And so, like, we we get in the car and it just so happened to be a situation where I was the 1 who got to be last And so I'm dropping off people. They all live, of course, super far away from each other. So by the time I'm finally- And this is my car. I'm like gosh, dang it like this was not. And so finally, it's 10 o'clock I am- I've had to go for, like, 3 and a half hours now. And I just dropped off the last 1 and, like, okay. I cannot make it back to my house. This isn't gonna work. I gotta find something closer. And every fast food place I drive by, their doors are shut. They've got the drive through open, but their doors are shut. Everything is just I cannot find something, but I I I cannot hold it any longer. It it's it's going down. And I'm driving, and I'm freaking out, and I'm like, I'm really gonna wet myself in my car. And then I see my high school. And I think, I can find a bathroom there. So I drive in to the parking lot by the football field. And they had been doing some construction around the baseball like areas. Okay. And so there's a porta potty.

Alex: Yeah.

Jared: The only thing standing in my way was like a 10 foot gate. So there I was- So there I was thinking, okay. I'm gonna have to climb this gate and get down to that porta potty. And so I start climbing. I'm really hoping that there's not a cop around or, like, there's not school security or anything. I start climbing. I get to the top, and instead of thinking like a rational person and thinking like, I should like climb down slowly. I just decided jump with a full bladder.

Alex: Oh, nooooo

Jared: And so I do. And as I land, my legs completely buckle under me. I just biff it, but I somehow kept it in.

Jacob: Oh

Josh: dang it.

Jacob: I thought that on the impact

Josh: Can you imagine, like, just the the dejection of-

Alex: On your back. peeing all over yourself.

Josh: An arms' reach from the bathroom.

Jared: It's like 3 feet away. No. No. Yeah. No. I thought this 1 would be good because it looks like it's gonna go 1 way, but I somehow kept it in.

Josh: Clutch.

Jared: And I made it to the porta potty and finally got the relief. And I I I let my friend have it after that. Because he knew. He knew the whole time. He did not care.

Josh: I hate those moments where you're just, like, breaking out in sweat. And you're just, like, oh my gosh! This is life or death right now.

Alex: I'm gonna poop my pants!

Josh: I'm prairie doggin' it!

Alex: I thought there was gonna be a padlock on the porta potty or something?

Jared: I was pretty weird too. If it it would if it had come to that, I was going to the bush, I didn't care.

Alex: Yep. Public urination.

Jacob: Even better, it's on school property.

Josh: Yeah. On the football field.

Jared: Take this high school!

Josh: All my teen aingst and anxiety, hah! Yeah. We had ideas like that to, you know, pee on the football field because-

Jacob: Who's we?

Josh: Well....

Alex: You don't wanna implicate anybody.

Jared: The undisclosed "we".

Jacob: I'm certainly not part of "we"

Josh: Yeah. True. Some some other of us, we'. And, you know, like ammonia on the grass and, like, just really mark it up.

Jacob: Oh you need to write something

Alex: "Haha! Your grass isn't green!"

[00:35:46] Another Brother Outro